I have been feeling a little frustrated lately, and would like some reassurance that I am not a horrible wife, but with school and Weston working all the time my patience is starting to wear thin! I know that the reason he is gone all the time is for us and our future family, and so we can have a wonderful life for the years to come, but I miss him like crazy!!
It's so hard to go all day not seeing your husband, then when you finally see each other, it's only for a short time. Before you know it, his nose is in the book and then it's bedtime! Even when we first got married, I didn't see him as much as I would of liked because of his internship out at the INL.
It's hard on me. I feel like I'm alone most of the time, even when he is here with me. It seems like he doesn't have time for me, because school is the priority. I'm sure that's not how it is, but that's how it seems to me. Sometimes I feel like we saw more of each other when we were dating than we do now. I just want my husband back when I can have his undivided attention. Sadly, I don't see it happening for another year or so...UGH!
Like I said, this is all for us, but it's hard on me. I have a hard time dealing with it. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I'm the kind of person who needs someone with me all the time. I hate being alone, and need constant activity and communication with someone, and I don't get that now, what with school and work.
I'm not looking for a pity party here or anything. Just needed to get out how I was/am feeling. There are many women out there who go days without seeing their husbands or longer. I envy those women who can do, because Heaven knows that I would never be able to do it. Is it too much to ask, to want to spend more time with my husband? I hope you all don't think I'm a bad wife, but I honestly can't wait for the day I have my husband back!
We are the Williams'! We are a happy family of five! We were married in 2010, welcomed little Shailee in 2012, little Aiden in 2014, and little Zachary in 2017. This is us!
Crystal, I know how you feel. Even before Dee was deployed his job took a lot of his time. Some how you and Wes need to find a middle. And make time for eachother and make sure you tell him how you feel. Tell him you understand he's doing all this for you and your future family but you are feeling alone. Believe me I know it is hard and it is stressful on the marriage but take it one day at a time and communicate. Thats all I know to tell you marriage isnt easy. But it feels soo good when you overcome obsticles. Hope things get better :)
ReplyDeleteYou aren't a bad wife, I'll assure anyone of that! I need to learn how to more effectively utilize my time with you. I need to learn to get more done while I'm away or how to do things in less time.
ReplyDeleteOh man, this totally takes me back to when Ben and I were first married. He was both working and going to school full time, while I was working 90 hr weeks. We had completely opposite schedules, and it SUCKED! We just tried to have a date night once a week, even if it was a simple as making dinner together and watching silly youtube videos. The blog http://loveactually-blog.blogspot.com/ has a ton of great stay-in date night ideas, and I'll use that sometimes too. I highly doubt that you could be a bad wife!!! You're Crystal, for goodness sakes! It's just a tough time, and it takes a lot of adjustment and patience!! Good luck Crystal! You're great, it'll be okay!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way Crystal... If Jared went on over nighters for scouts of school, I would sit at home eating junk food untill I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore! The first year was rough, but as time goes by it will get easier. Hang in there dearest and dont forget im right around the corner!
ReplyDelete"The honey moon is over" phase is a hard adjustment! Real life is crazy, but if you try to make the time you do have together great, things will work out...and of course listen to your amazing mother in law, she is so right about having girlfriends and hobbies you LOVE, and trying to support each other in worth while goals, service really does bring so much joy with the right attitude...I think I need to save her comment somewhere because she is so smart! I'm sure you are a great wife, remember he chose you!
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